Friday, July 30, 2010

31 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Well, our cravings are through the roof! I've been craving everything under the sun! But I'm trying to eat healthy for the 2 of us. I'm not going to lie, we do have a little something sweet every day. But you really seem to enjoy that. I hope I don't regret that later on. :)

This week, I've felt very alone. I don't know why. Maybe because your Uncle Barracuda couldn't come to see us. And I really missed that. Or maybe it was because we haven't had the chance to see your Auntie Lola and Uncle Guy. I'm sure that hasn't helped. Or maybe because all of our friends live at least 2 hours away. But it's been lonely around here.

We also had a tough Wednesday. But I don't want you to have to worry about that. You let me do the worrying. Your job is to grow, be healthy, and be happy. Remember that. That is your only job. And that will be your only job for a long time. I'm sorry your mommy and daddy screwed up so bad. It wasn't your fault. We love you!

But you, W, and me have had a great week! We've enjoyed lots of our fresh tomatoes. And just being together. I love feeling you inside my belly. The way you move. And even your kicks. It's amazing! And when your mommy needs a little smile, you seem to know. Because you do this fun flirty thing inside of my belly. It always makes me laugh!

XOXO Your Mommy

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

This is Tough

We went to court again today. It was so tough. T just doesn't want to acknowledge that were having a baby. The judge is so fed up with him. To tell you the truth, I thought I was going to come out on the raw end of this deal. Just because of who my hubby is. And what he does for a living.

But he's making a jackass out of himself every time we go to court. The judge had to threaten him with arresting him again. And T about had a fit when the judge ordered him to pay for my doctor's bills, all of them. From the 1st time I went to the doctor, until after our baby girl is born. He did not like that. He also ordered T to pay me spousal support. Since he makes almost 10X's as much as I do.

The crazy thing is, I never wanted any of this. I didn't want money. I didn't want any of our material goods. I just wanted out. But T didn't want to get a divorce. I don't know why. He's living with his daughter, and her mom. He's trying to make that work. But he also wants to be married to me. How is this fair?

I know that the judge is fed up. He's pissed! And now, he's making T pay in all kinds of ways. And I have no say. I'm also not going to make the judge mad. I just want a divorce by the time our little girl is born. I don't want to have to be dragging her to court too. I just hope we can get it done.

It's been a tough day. I'm ready for some ice cream. And a little relaxing. I wonder what is on TV tonight. I just need to take my mind off of the horrible day that I've had. Because we'll be back in court in 2 short weeks. XOXO

Monday, July 26, 2010

I Can't Wait for This Day!

My friend is sick. I think he has the flu. So I'm alone tonight. Since I've moved, he's made it a point to come see me every Monday evening. So I'm a little sad tonight. I'm already missing our talks and dinner. He's a pretty good cook. Unlike me. And I didn't know what to do with myself. I know. I must sound lame.

But I didn't know what to do tonight. So I decided to watch some parenting videos on YouTube. You know, from parents. About real life stuff. And I found Jeni. She has some great videos. I found her because I was looking for some videos on breastfeeding. And I found some of the best advice out there.

This video in particular, it made me cry. It's of her son's 1st birthday. And I just can't wait to be able to celebrate my baby's 1st birthday too! I'm just sad that she's not going to get the family she deserves. She deserves to have a daddy that loves her too. So this was a little bit of a mix for me. I cried. But you know what, I'm going to be the best mommy I can be for my little girl. XOXO

Friday, July 23, 2010

30 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

I can't believe we're only 10 weeks away from meeting! It makes me so happy!!! This week, we've been pretty relaxed. Actually, your mommy has been pretty tired. So I've been sleeping a lot. But I think that is good for us. At least my doctor agrees.

Most nights, I get home from work, and we eat dinner. W loves to just chill with us. He lays his head on my belly. I think he just wants to feel you. He's going to be a great big brother. You know, even if he's a furry, 4 legged brother. :)

We had a glucose test today too. That stuff is so horrible to drink. I'm sure you got to taste it too. What did you think? I took everything I had to keep it down. But I know that you needed it. We needed it. So that we could see if everything was good. And it was!

This week, I've been dreaming more and more about you. About your little fingers and toes. I just can't wait to meet you. But you take your time. You cook all the way! And when you're healthy and ready, your mommy will be waiting to hold you and kiss you! I love you little angel!

XOXO Your Mommy

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Suzie Q Socks

Look at what I just ordered! Aren't they too cute for words? I found them here, for $25. I didn't think that was bad. Since there are 6 pairs. And they're adorable. I just love the little bows.

I can already tell, I'm going to be stalking the mail until they get here. Oh, I just can't wait to put these on my little girl's feet. I'm getting so excited to meet her! XOXO

Monday, July 19, 2010


When I was little, my parents wouldn't let me watch 90201 or Melrose Place. And I remember that's all I ever wanted to watch. But they wouldn't let me. I found this clip, and it totally reminded me of how much I used to want to watch it.

My bestie used to watch it. And she'd tell me all about the romance between Brenda and Dylan. I was just dying to watch it. How funny! But I really wanted to watch it. And I still want to. If only I could find the DVDs to this show. :) XOXO

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Chocolate Banana Smoothie

I have a very soft spot in my heart for anything banana flavored. I don't know why. But that's just the way it is. Banana milk is still my favorite thing to drink! :)

I was doing a search for a banana shake, and I found this video. Yum! It looks so good. And easy. I just happen to have everything I need to make it too. I'm going to go make one for me and my baby girl. :) XOXO

Friday, July 16, 2010

29 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

I've been thinking more and more about you this week. Ever since we went to go visit Baby G, I just want to meet you. It's so nice that so many of my friends are having babies. That means, lots and lots of playdates for you! 7 of my friends are having or have had a baby recently. Little one, you are going to have lots of good friends! I just have to keep you away from the boys when you get bigger. :)

This week, we haven't been up to much. I'm still a little confused with the whole time thing. I don't know why. But in case you've noticed, yup, we're going to bed later. Because I'm just not tired. Then your mommy has to drag herself out of bed in the mornings. That's why we've been taking so many naps in the evenings.

But I'm thinking you don't mind much. Neither does W. He likes our naps. I also find him sleeping under your crib a lot. I think he's just practicing for when you come home. W and I also signed up for a baby and dog class. It's in a few weeks. And I think it will be fun for all of us. :)

See how much we love you little girl! We just can't wait for you to get here. I know W is going to just love you too. And be so protect over you. We're counting down the days until October!

XOXO Your Mommy

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I found a new YouTuber to watch, Laci. She's amazing. And has a beautiful little girl, JJ. I found her recently. And over the last few days, I've watched all her videos.

I wanted to cry when I watched this video. Because I can sorta relate. But not really. My hubby was amazing to me. Until we lost our first baby. Everything went downhill from there. But Laci just shows me, you can do it. You deserve better.

I know that I deserve a better life. I deserve to have a man that loves me. A man who will respect and honor me. Not cheat on me, then throw it in my house. And tell me that I deserved it.

Laci is my inspiration. Just watching her in her last few videos, it gives me hope that my daughter and I are going to be OK. That we're going to make it. In the end, she is the only thing that matters. Thanks Laci for all your inspiration and hope that you've given me. :) XOXO

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Isn't this set gorgeous? I know what you're going to say. But it's blue. I know. But I like it. They have a pink one too. I like both of them. But I really like this one. The blue color matches my purse. And I think this would be a great set to buy. You know, to just through in your purse when you go to the post office or the grocery store. And it's only $35!

But I'm refraining. Because all my friends keep telling me to stop buying baby stuff. Because they want to buy some stuff for me and my baby too. I know. And my baby shower is in just a few weeks. So I'm going to wait to buy this set. Even though, I love it! I mean, who doesn't like handmade? XOXO

Friday, July 9, 2010

28 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We're 1 week closer. And your mommy is getting excited! I just can't believe we've made it this far! But you're so healthy. And that is all I want. A healthy baby!

I know this has been a tough week. Your mommy has cried too much. And you're probably confused in there. But I'm making things better for us. I promise. I promise you are going to have a better life than I had. I just need to get this together.

We had a great holiday weekend last weekend. We spent lots of time with your Auntie Lola, Uncle Guy, and Uncle Barracuda. Your Uncle Guy had a really great weekend. And it was neat to be there. One day, you'll get to go to those fun things too! And celebrate his successes.

And we just hung out on Sunday. Your Auntie Lola is the best cook ever! And she made us an amazing meal. We spent lots of time with our friends. Both the furry kind, and the 2 legged! :)

This week, one of my good friends C had her little girl. And we went to go visit her. Just holding her little girl made me think of you. I can't wait to be able to hold you in my arms. And I just can't wait to see you 2 playing together. Yes, your mommy has lots of friends having babies too. And we're already talking about play dates. I'm so excited!

You keep growing strong. And leave the rest to me. I know things are going to work out good for us. Because I've been praying to God for it. But I really can't wait to meet you!

XOXO Your Mommy

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Cute Hair

I really like Shandel's hair in this video. I want to cut my hair before Baby C is born. I already have short hair. But this is a cute style. I don't want to die my hair. I actually like my color right now. But I like this cut. I'm just not sure if it would look good on me or not. I guess I should probably just take the leap. After all, hair grows back! XOXO

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

He Disappoints Me

Today, T and I went to court. We're trying to get divorced here. He is fighting it. Why? I have no damn clue. Since he's the one that cheated, had a baby with another woman, and now is dating 2 women. Ugh! It just makes me mad to try and wrap my head around it all. But there it is.

I thought for sure, I was going to be screwed today in court. But I was almost positive that I would be divorced. No. Not at all. I didn't get a divorce. The judge was pissed. And we have to return in 2 weeks. It was all my T's fault. He went a little nuts in court. Yelling and all. They threatened to arrest him. Then he shut up.

But by this time, nasty things had been said. I was in tears. And the judge was pissed! So there you go. The judge was also not happy that T has not paid for anything having to do with my pregnancy. And that I moved away, taking nothing. I also have not used any of my T's money since last June. Oh, and my car, his girlfriend is now using it.

There you go. My day. It sucked. And I'm still married. To a man that has a baby with another woman. Living in our house. And I'm here. Getting ready for our little girl. Taking care of our dog. But I would rather be on my own than to have to deal with the life that T has made for himself. It's just a mess.

But there was a good thing that happened today. Some close friends of mine welcomed their baby girl into the world today. Life is amazing. I'm so happy for them. I really need to go. It's late and I have to work tomorrow. XOXO

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Current Boobies

I've been watching Lorraine for a long time. She has 2 YouTube channels. But my favorite is The Current Boobies. She posts daily vlogs. Lots of them include her mom and her dog Clyde. He's adorable! This video just made me smile. Reminds me of W and me. Except my dog, he's a big boy!

Do you watch YouTube videos? I've found since T and I separated, I watch a lot of YouTube! Because I don't have much else to do. I'm not watching as much as I did during the winter. Or when I first moved. Now I spend a lot of time outside. But I still like to watch lots and lots of videos! XOXO

Friday, July 2, 2010

27 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

27 weeks! It feels just like yesterday that our little test turned positive. Now, we only have 13 weeks to go! I still can't believe it. But you take all the time you need. Grow big and strong. Your mommy is waiting to meet you. But I want you healthy!

This week, we're hanging out with all your favorite people, you Auntie Lola, Uncle Guy, and Uncle Barracuda. W is with us too. And all his friends. We're in sunny Florida. And we're really enjoying ourselves.

Today, your "Nana" and I flew home. We left really early. Because we had a doctor's appointment. We got there just in time. And we got to see you. You look beautiful already. And you are starting to look like your big sister. We were so excited to see you and hear your heart beat!

Now, we're back in Florida. Enjoying the warm weather. Sitting with our feet in the sand. We really need to rest up. Tonight and tomorrow are going to be so busy and exciting! I hope you enjoy all of this. And remember, your mommy loves you!

XOXO Mommy