Today is the Day

Dear Baby Girl,

I just have a feeling, that today is the day. The day that we get to meet. And I get to hold you for the very first time. That makes me so excited!

The last few months, they've been magical. Feeling you inside of me. Kicking around. Loving me. And I hope you know how much I love you. I'd do anything for you baby girl. I mean anything!

It's crazy. When I found out about you, I was scared. So scared. I wasn't sure I could do this. I didn't know if I'd be a good Mommy. But I've tried really hard. I've taken so many classes. And tried to make all the right decisions. Now all I can do is wait for you.

I love you so much! There are so many people that love you little girl! Your Uncle Barracuda thinks you're the entire world. The reason that the sun rises and sets. Really he does. He wants to be everything that your Daddy isn't. He wants to love and protect you. It's crazy how this week, today, he has to be across the country working. But he's trying to get home as quickly as he can!

And your Godparents. They love you so much. There is not a thing in the world, that they wouldn't do for us. I know this. My bestie, we've been through a lot. Our lives have been crazy. But through it all, we've had each other. And I know, she would do anything for you. She's going to be your Godmother. And I know that she is going to be amazing at loving you! Your Godfather, he's so excited to meet you too! It's so incredible to watch them both, when we get to see you. They love you so much! It's hard that everyone is away right now. But they love you! And they're trying to get hom before you are born.

If this is your birth date, you were born on an incredible day. 10-10-10. It's also your Godfather's birthday. I know that would send him over the moon, to have you born on his birthday! I just have this feeling, a good feeling, that you're coming today. I pray that our labor and delivery is safe. And that you are born healthy. Your Mommy and W love you so much! We can't wait to bring you home. To our home, to your nursery, to start our lives together.

XOXO Your Mommy and W, Your Favorite Dog. :)

41 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We are 1 week "late." I'm not stressed. Neither is our doctor. But I am anxious! I can't wait to meet you. I know. For 41 weeks, you've been inside me, growing. But I want to hold you. I want to look into your eyes. To kiss your cheeks. And I want to just be your Mommy.

Today, our doctor scrapped my membranes. It hurt. But it was worth it. I've felt a few contractions since. And this is supposed to start things moving. You know, in the right direction. That means we could meet sometime this weekend! Now that makes me excited!

Everything is ready for you. Your nursery. Our home. W. Your Mommy. Your Nana and
Nono. Your Uncle Barracuda. We're all ready! We're just waiting for you to come. Your Nono wants to know if you can come on Sunday. A cool date! But that is all up to you!

The only thing that I want, is for you and me to be safe and healthy. We have years and years to be together. But for right now, I want you to be healthy. And safe. So if you have to "cook" for another week, I'm OK with it. Just take as much time as you need!

XOXO Your Mommy

40 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Today is our due date. And you're just not ready to come yet. I'm OK with that. Our doctor said neither of us is ready. We might have another 2 weeks to go. But I hope that I don't have to wait that long.

We had a crazy week. I'm sorry that I get so upset when we're around your Daddy. I never wanted things to be this way. But you know what, I've learned that I can't control these things. I hope your Daddy wakes up. And decided to come see you being born. I think that is something very special. Something that would start to build your relationship together. But I'm not in charge of that.

And your Uncle Barracuda has definitely been picking up the pieces for us. He's been great. Part of me wants to let him really love and take care of us. But I want to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt. So we are just going to have to wait this out. I know he loves us. But I'm not sure if I'm ready for that kind of "Romantic Love" again.

All week, I've been going into your nursery. Sitting in my chair and looking at your crib. I can't wait until you are sleeping in there. I want to sit and read to you. To hold you. And to love you. Baby Girl, I just can't wait to meet you! I'm ready when you are!

XOXO Your Mommy

Oh Grapes!

Yum! Dinner last night, it was yummy. Yes, I somehow figured out how to cook everything. And with a little bit of help from Barracuda, we managed a yummy dinner! And dessert. :)

But since last week, I haven't been eating much. I just don't feel like eating. I'm not hungry. I try to eat. I really do. But Baby C is running out of room in my belly. And it really doesn't make for much of an appetite. But I'm trying to eat often. Even if it's small bits of food.

Grapes have become my go to. I crave them. I've been craving them for weeks. And they're yummy! In the past week, I can honestly say, I've eaten at least 6 bags. Is that crazy? XOXO

Planning Something Nice

My friend Barracuda has been amazing. He's been an incredible friend. Helping me through my separation with T, our ongoing divorce, and my pregnancy. He's been so good!

Well, he had a really tough day today. A bad one. He's not been having a nice weekend at all. I feel really bad. Especially since I can't physically be there to be supportive. But we talked on the phone.

Mondays are our days to have dinner together. For a while now, we've been meeting on Mondays evenings. We have dinner. And he helps me do things around my house. Or we just hangout. But I've been wanting to do something special for him. Because he always brings me dinner, or cooks for me. And he never asks me for anything.

At our Baby Shower, his mom let me know, Barracuda really likes chili. And I searched for a good recipe. Remember, I'm not a very good cook. But I found this recipe. And with some changes, I'm going to make a big pot tomorrow. And maybe I can figure out how to make some corn bread. You know the kind, the mix that you just add water to. :)

Ya, I want to do something to help lift Barracuda's spirits. He's been so amazing to me. And I just want to be able to give him support right now too. Wish me luck with my cooking! :) XOXO

Halloween Costumes

So I'm quite miserable today. Not really feeling like doing much. But I have something fun to share with you. Last night, I realized something. Baby C will be here before Halloween! And I needed to buy some costumes! I'm almost positive we won't do anything. But I live in a "Family" neighborhood now. So I'm going to try and handout candy. There are so many kiddos around here. :)

But I thought it would be fun to dress up. Even if it's just for a picture or 2. So I went hunting for something cute! This is what I found...



I really like this little flower. It's $49! But I figured, it's going to be my little girl's 1st Halloween. Oh, and Barracuda ended up buying it. He thinks Baby C will look adorable. I might be a little biased here, but I think she will look beautiful! :)



I'm was thinking about this bee costume for me. $20 isn't bad. And it covers everything! You know, I'll only be a few weeks postpartum. No need to scare people. I figure I can wear some leggings and my black ballet flats. So cute!

So I know, people are going to think I'm nuts for buying Halloween costumes. Especially this flower one. But this is Baby C's 1st holiday. And I think it's important to start fun memories right away.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of fun times in my childhood. And I want it to be very different for my little one. It was kinda funny. Last night, I was looking at these costumes. And talking to Barracuda. He didn't hesitate. He just ordered them. It was really sweet of him too! Because he didn't have to. Now I'm anxious for Halloween to get here. XOXO

38 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

I'm so excited! You are officially considered full term. And the doctor told me that you are ready to be born. Well, when you are ready to come. But you know what your Mommy is trying to say.

Your Uncle Barracuda and I have been working hard to put all of your presents away. We got so many amazing gifts from our Our Baby Shower. It's almost been a week. And I'm still trying to find places for everything. We're so lucky, to be this loved!

This week, well I've been trying to just relax. I hope that's making things nice and comfy for you too. I know that I haven't been sleeping much. But it's been hard to get comfy. I'm sure you're feeling the same way. I think we're starting to run out of room. But we don't have long to wait. So I think we'll be OK.

This week has been so nice. Spending lots of time with all of our friends. They love you so much already. Everyone is so excited to meet you! But no one is more excited than me. I really can't wait. I look at your nursery everyday. And I can just imagine you sleeping in your crib. And later, playing on the fun rug. :)

I can feel you move so much now. Every time you move, it's such an incredible feeling. And I look forward to all of your movements. It makes me smile so big! We've been reading more than usual too. And I think you really enjoy that. I'm glad.

Today, just seeing your gorgeous face made my day! You look so beautiful. And you were moving so much! Our doctor joked that you were having a party in your Mommy's belly. It sure did look like you were dancing around!

Well Little Girl, I can't wait to meet you! Your Mommy already LOVES you so much! I hope you know that. I'll always love and adore you. Baby Girl, you are my sunshine and my world! Stay strong and healthy. I'm counting down the days until I get to meet you!

XOXO Your Mommy

Baby Showers in Review

This past weekend, Baby C and I had our Baby Showers. Yes, we had 2! I still can't believe it!

My bestie and some friends had planned our Baby Shower for Saturday. I knew about it. And I was so excited! Not about getting presents. I had already bought, pretty much everything that Baby C needs. But I was so excited to see all of my friends. Especially my bestie! It seems like it's been forever since I've seen my friends. Living out here, I don't get to see them often. And that's tough.

I got to spend Friday with my bestie. And that was just incredible! We went to my doctor's appointment, out to lunch, and just hung out. We did some shopping. And I really enjoyed all of it! We even managed a mani-pedi too. :)

My bestie ended up making dinner for us that night. Because I fell asleep late in the afternoon. Barracuda and her Guy were working. And we were all meeting up later that night. The 2 of us really did enjoy ourselves.

I spent the weekend at my bestie and her Guy's house. That's where the Baby Shower was going to be. And Saturday morning, the house was buzzing! The guys left early in the morning. They had a way to go for work. And there were so many people helping to get ready for our Baby Shower!

I was really excited to share this with C too! She made the trip out here just for the Baby Shower. And it was nice to spend time with her. C and W were our only family that came. But it was such a blessing to have them here. Yes, I consider my dog family! C is so excited to meet her new niece too!

I honestly just enjoyed being around all of my friends. It was like a reunion of the "Wives Club." :) Yes, all of our husbands work together. And we all travel together. It was just nice to be with them again. We sat around laughing and talking. I got to change some diapers. Yes, some of my friends have newborns! :)

The pile of gifts was HUGE! I was feeling a bit intimidated. So many amazing things. I really do feel blessed. There were lots of beautiful presents. So many clothes! Baby C might not even get to wear everything! She could possibly wear a new outfit everyday!

But the most special gifts were handmade. My bestie and her mom made some of the most beautiful things. I wish I could find my camera. I took pictures of everything. I mean, these are gorgeous blankets, sweater sets, booties, everything! I even got my tutu for Baby C! :)

On Sunday, the guys were back. They actually got back late, late Saturday night. And my bestie and all the guys planned a "Surprise BBQ" for us! Yes, all the people I used to work with, were able to come on Sunday. It was another Baby Shower! I really have missed all of these people. It feels amazing to be part of their lives again. I'm so lucky and blessed, to have such amazing friends. :)

Sunday was really about just being with friends. We also got another mountain of gifts. And now that I'm thinking about it, I need to start writing out Thank yous. But it's so amazing to just spend time with my friends. I've missed them so much! And they love my Baby Girl so much!!!

After everyone had left, and all had calmed down, my bestie and her guy surprised me again! They put together an entire nursery in their home! For my Baby Girl! :) They're going to be Baby C's Godparents. And they are planning to steal away, my Little Girl, from time to time. Everything that a baby could possibly need, is in that nursery. It's beautiful! I can tell, they love Baby C as much as I do.

As you can tell, we are so lucky and loved! Life has not been too kind to Baby C and I. But God has sent us some amazing people. People that love us. And want to take care of us. We are truly blessed. I just wish I could find my camera. We took some amazing pictures! And I want to say a special and HUGE Thank you to my bestie! You are the best friend anyone could ever have! :) XOXO

Fried Tuna Stuffed Jumbo Pasta Shells

Gosh these look yummy! If I didn't have such a big belly, I'd try them. But I fear, I might burn my baby belly. And that wouldn't be good. I should have probably mastered cooking before getting pregnant. Well, what are you gonna do? What's done is done. Maybe Barracuda and I could attempt these. And he can deal with the frying. :) XOXO

Smells Like Honey :)

My bestie didn't just shower my little girl with presents this weekend, she bought me some stuff too! Some really amazing things. This "Honey Farm" set was one of my favorites. I tried it out this morning. And it was wonderful! Definitely what I needed after a long weekend. :)

I tried the "Honey I Washed the Kids" soap. It was amazing! And the "Flying Fox" shower gel. It smells so amazing! But then again, I'm a HUGE fan of honey. It just smells so amazing! After using this, my skin feels so amazing and soft. And there is definitely a hint of honey left on my skin. I just love the way it smells!

I'm going to save the "Honey Bee" bath bomb and "Ma Bar" bubble bar for later. I think they'd be great in a bath closer to my due date. You know, when I really need a good soak. Or even after my little girl is born.

I tell you, I have the best bestie in the entire world. Her guy and Barracuda are amazing too! Not only did we have a Baby Shower on Saturday. But the guys also surprised me with a Baby Shower/BBQ yesterday. Lots of fun. But more on both later this week. :) XOXO

35 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Well, we're 5 weeks away from officially meeting. And I'm really excited! I can't wait to hold you in my arms! Everything is ready for you. W and I, we graduate soon from our Baby and Dog class. Your mommy is also making her sacraments in a couple of weeks. And our baby shower is almost here! So exciting!

Today, we spent the entire day with Uncle Barracuda. He came to our doctor's appointment with us. Then we had some fun. We went shopping for you. Then we had some lunch. Did some more shopping. Had some dinner. Went for some dessert. And watched a few movies at home. It was a lot of fun. And a much needed break for your mommy. :)

I can really tell that you like your Uncle Barracuda a lot too! You kick for him. Every time he puts his hand on my belly, you kick for him. And he loves it! He loves to read to you. And generally, he's just in love with you!

It's crazy, because everything that you're daddy isn't, your Uncle Barracuda is. And he doesn't have to do these things. But that's how much he loves you! It almost makes me sad. But I'm glad that your Uncle Barracuda is here for you. For us actually. Maybe, well, maybe now you will understand. Not all men are bad. Some are really great guys. Your mommy has just had really bad luck in the generally area of men. Starting with your grandpa. But there are some really nice guys out there. It just takes a while to find a really great one. So when you're old enough, please be patient. :)

Well baby girl. It's about time we head to bed. Your mommy is quite tired. W is already snoring away. And we're all just so excited to meet you! My Love, you are the sunshine in your mommy's life. Love you lots!

XOXO Your Mommy

From Uncle Barracuda

Barracuda went shopping for Baby C. When? I have absolutely no clue! We got back Sunday. And Monday when I got home from work, he was sitting at the front step. Dinner in one hand. A big pink box in the other. What was inside? Lots of clothes for Baby C! :)

A cute onesie type suit. :)

And a ruffley pink romper. So cute!

An orange bubble romper. I'm sure I wore these when I was little. :)

Just look at this butterfly outfit! Adorable!!!

This flower dress just might be my favorite! Don't be shocked if Baby C has her 1st month pictures taken in it. :) I just need to find some cute pink shoes to match!

Love how stinking adorable this dress is! I bet it would look so cute with red shoes and a red headband. :)

This dress totally reminds me of where I grew up! Love it!

How cute is this flower costume!!!

I'm totally loving the polka dots here!

I just LOVE this striped, hooded bodysuit. :)

And this pink, bear snowsuit!

And you can't forget about the polka dot, bear snowsuit!

Can you see how loved Baby C is already? I just love it! And love that she has a real male role model. I'm glad that Barracuda is in our lives. And I want my daughter to know that she can depend on men. That they won't all hurt her. It's also nice to see that other people, besides me, are exciting for my little girl to come into the world. :) XOXO

Baby Got Back

This song, it came out when my bestie and I were 8 or 9. No lie! And she has always had one of those ghetto booties. You know, the big bubble butt. So this was her song. Not by her choice. But because I used to sing it to her all the time! Now, everytime I hear it, it reminds me of her!

Barracuda and I were just having a lazy day. Listening to old school music and getting my house baby proofed. That's when this song came on. And instantly, I thought of my bestie! I told Barracuda all about our childhood. And how I would bug my bestie with this song.

In the end, we agreed, it's her song. Because no matter what size she is, she still has the ghetto booty. Size 0 or size 5. She's got a booty! I'm pretty sure The Guy doesn't mind either. :) XOXO

34 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We had a great appointment today. You smiled and waved at me. And it made me cry. I just can't wait to hold you in my arms. I'm so in love with you!

I've been so tired and hungry all week. But it's definitely worth it. For you. And for you to be healthy. I'd go through anything just to make sure you are one healthy and happy baby girl! But you look beautiful already. :)

This week, we haven't been doing much. Besides working. Your Uncle Barracuda really wants us to go see him and your Auntie Lola, and your Uncle Guy. We're going to surprise them. And we're leaving later with some other friends. It should be a lot of fun!

Yes, I've decided we're going to have a little fun. Our doctor OK'd it. And the flying. So we're a OK! But this will probably be our last trip until you're born. I don't mind. I really enjoy being home with you! And W of course!

Speaking of our favorite pup, we're about to graduate from our Baby and Dog Class. We've had so much fun! I hope you enjoyed it too! I know all of this work is going to pay off. And I just want you to know how excited we are to meet you! :) Now, your mommy needs to go pack for our trip.

XOXO Your Mommy

33 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

This has been a rather uneventful week. But I've enjoyed it a lot! Because I've been home more. And, we've gotten to spend a lot of time together. Feeling each other out! Literally!

You have been moving around so much. Getting into all of your mommy's insides. I swear, you are either pulling on my ribs. Or kicking my parts. It's interesting to feel. A little weird. But really fun!

I hope you are enjoying everything inside. I can only imagine how warm, safe, and sound it is. Your mommy is trying her best to make it the safest and healthiest place for you to grow.

This week, we've been hanging out and listening to a lot of music. And reading. I know you like that. And Uncle Barracuda just loves talking to you! I know that you are really enjoying that. Because you kick and get so excited to hear his voice. :)

Your mommy is also doing more shopping. I know. I never liked to shop for myself. But I just can't help it. When I see all these adorable dresses, and ruffles, and everything so cute! I just have to buy something for my precious little girl. :)

That's been our week. Not too much crazy stuff. But a nice peaceful, summer week. Eating lots of fresh tomatoes. Enjoying evenings outside. And just being our little family! I can't wait to hold you!

XOXO Your Mommy

PS One of your future best friends was born this week too! He is adorable! Who knows...one day, he might be the love of your life. I can't wait for all of our future playdates. Mommy :)

31 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Well, our cravings are through the roof! I've been craving everything under the sun! But I'm trying to eat healthy for the 2 of us. I'm not going to lie, we do have a little something sweet every day. But you really seem to enjoy that. I hope I don't regret that later on. :)

This week, I've felt very alone. I don't know why. Maybe because your Uncle Barracuda couldn't come to see us. And I really missed that. Or maybe it was because we haven't had the chance to see your Auntie Lola and Uncle Guy. I'm sure that hasn't helped. Or maybe because all of our friends live at least 2 hours away. But it's been lonely around here.

We also had a tough Wednesday. But I don't want you to have to worry about that. You let me do the worrying. Your job is to grow, be healthy, and be happy. Remember that. That is your only job. And that will be your only job for a long time. I'm sorry your mommy and daddy screwed up so bad. It wasn't your fault. We love you!

But you, W, and me have had a great week! We've enjoyed lots of our fresh tomatoes. And just being together. I love feeling you inside my belly. The way you move. And even your kicks. It's amazing! And when your mommy needs a little smile, you seem to know. Because you do this fun flirty thing inside of my belly. It always makes me laugh!

XOXO Your Mommy

I Can't Wait for This Day!

My friend is sick. I think he has the flu. So I'm alone tonight. Since I've moved, he's made it a point to come see me every Monday evening. So I'm a little sad tonight. I'm already missing our talks and dinner. He's a pretty good cook. Unlike me. And I didn't know what to do with myself. I know. I must sound lame.

But I didn't know what to do tonight. So I decided to watch some parenting videos on YouTube. You know, from parents. About real life stuff. And I found Jeni. She has some great videos. I found her because I was looking for some videos on breastfeeding. And I found some of the best advice out there.

This video in particular, it made me cry. It's of her son's 1st birthday. And I just can't wait to be able to celebrate my baby's 1st birthday too! I'm just sad that she's not going to get the family she deserves. She deserves to have a daddy that loves her too. So this was a little bit of a mix for me. I cried. But you know what, I'm going to be the best mommy I can be for my little girl. XOXO

28 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We're 1 week closer. And your mommy is getting excited! I just can't believe we've made it this far! But you're so healthy. And that is all I want. A healthy baby!

I know this has been a tough week. Your mommy has cried too much. And you're probably confused in there. But I'm making things better for us. I promise. I promise you are going to have a better life than I had. I just need to get this together.

We had a great holiday weekend last weekend. We spent lots of time with your Auntie Lola, Uncle Guy, and Uncle Barracuda. Your Uncle Guy had a really great weekend. And it was neat to be there. One day, you'll get to go to those fun things too! And celebrate his successes.

And we just hung out on Sunday. Your Auntie Lola is the best cook ever! And she made us an amazing meal. We spent lots of time with our friends. Both the furry kind, and the 2 legged! :)

This week, one of my good friends C had her little girl. And we went to go visit her. Just holding her little girl made me think of you. I can't wait to be able to hold you in my arms. And I just can't wait to see you 2 playing together. Yes, your mommy has lots of friends having babies too. And we're already talking about play dates. I'm so excited!

You keep growing strong. And leave the rest to me. I know things are going to work out good for us. Because I've been praying to God for it. But I really can't wait to meet you!

XOXO Your Mommy

27 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

27 weeks! It feels just like yesterday that our little test turned positive. Now, we only have 13 weeks to go! I still can't believe it. But you take all the time you need. Grow big and strong. Your mommy is waiting to meet you. But I want you healthy!

This week, we're hanging out with all your favorite people, you Auntie Lola, Uncle Guy, and Uncle Barracuda. W is with us too. And all his friends. We're in sunny Florida. And we're really enjoying ourselves.

Today, your "Nana" and I flew home. We left really early. Because we had a doctor's appointment. We got there just in time. And we got to see you. You look beautiful already. And you are starting to look like your big sister. We were so excited to see you and hear your heart beat!

Now, we're back in Florida. Enjoying the warm weather. Sitting with our feet in the sand. We really need to rest up. Tonight and tomorrow are going to be so busy and exciting! I hope you enjoy all of this. And remember, your mommy loves you!

XOXO Mommy

In Florida

We made it to Florida! I was pretty unsure of all of this. But in the end, I'm glad I came. I really needed to get away. And the office is going to be closed from Thursday until Tuesday. I'm only missing 1 day of work. I don't feel so bad.

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. My bestie and I are going to fly back together. Back home. I know. It's crazy. But this is our life. And I have to make sure my baby girl is growing the way she is supposed to. I'm really excited!

The only thing that really almost ruined my day was running into T. He didn't expect me here. Until yesterday, I was still unsure if I was coming. T didn't even know I was considering coming. Being that we haven't talked in weeks. He was pretty pissed when he seen me. But I'm not sure why.

T brought his little girl and girlfriend down earlier this week. They've been having a family vacation. So I'm not sure why he's so pissed. But whatever. He's also trying to be "Daddy of the Year." I really hope that he is really being a good dad. And not just trying to put on some show for people. He's been posting pics of him and his daughter all week.

But I'm not going to let anything get to me. I'm here to enjoy myself. Even if Barracuda had to drag me here. I'm here. And I'm going to enjoy this. Especially the beach and my bestie! I better get my butt to bed. Because tomorrow, my bestie and I are going to do some shopping for my little girl. And we're going to the beach! XOXO