Thursday, September 30, 2010

Can't Wait!

I saw this picture this morning. And it just made me smile. I can't wait to hold my Baby Girl! We're 1 day away from our due date. I don't feel anywhere near having my Baby Girl. But I guess you just never know these things. Hopefully I'll get a better idea, of when I get to meet Baby C tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment. I'm hoping that I've made some progress. Because I seriously can't wait to meet my little girl. :) XOXO

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

He Makes Me Sad

I watched this video just now, and it made me cry. Why? Because look at how happy Chloe and Chris are. What an amazing dad. Chloe looks so happy!

Today, T and I had another Court Date. He insisted on it. My lawyer called me on Monday to let me know. Yes, at 39 weeks, and 2 days, I went to court. He flat out told the judge, he didn't want to be Baby C's father. Whether DNA can prove it or not.

The judge has left it up to me. If I decide to put T's name on Baby C's birth certificate, he is her father. Then I'll have the option to petition for Child Support and such. Or I can allow T to sign over all Parental Rights. If I do that, his name won't go on Baby C's birth certificate. I can't ever ask for anything from him. Which is more than OK with me. It honestly is. But the judge will not hear any of my decisions unit after Baby C is born.

Here I am, 2 days from my due date. We should be so happy! T and I should be sitting in our home, planning on our Baby Girl's birth. Just thinking about the rest of our lives. Instead, we're in Court. Fighting about whether or not T is going to be held responsible, in the eyes of the Court, as Baby C's father.

It makes me really sad. Because T and I always talked about, what it was like growing up in a "Broken Home." And how we wanted to be married forever. To give our kids a better life. Now look at us. We can't even figure out which way is up.

I wanted so badly to work this out between T and I. And when I realized that there was nothing left to fight for, I at least wanted our baby to have a good relationship with T. But T wants nothing of it. I should be grateful that he decided this before Baby C's birth. Before she grows dependent on her dad.

But it still hurts. It hurts that he left me. Left me for not only 1 other woman, but 2. Who knows, there are probably more. And that he lied to me. Lied about his Baby Girl, M. Both of these innocent babies, deserve a better father.

More than anything, it hurts me that my Baby Girl will never have a relationship with her daddy. She will never have the chance to know the loving side of him. The side that loves, comforts, and protects. It pains me that there will never be love shared between the 2 of them. But that is T's decision. Not mine. And one day, he'll have to explain that to our daughter. XOXO

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Oh Grapes!

Yum! Dinner last night, it was yummy. Yes, I somehow figured out how to cook everything. And with a little bit of help from Barracuda, we managed a yummy dinner! And dessert. :)

But since last week, I haven't been eating much. I just don't feel like eating. I'm not hungry. I try to eat. I really do. But Baby C is running out of room in my belly. And it really doesn't make for much of an appetite. But I'm trying to eat often. Even if it's small bits of food.

Grapes have become my go to. I crave them. I've been craving them for weeks. And they're yummy! In the past week, I can honestly say, I've eaten at least 6 bags. Is that crazy? XOXO

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Planning Something Nice

My friend Barracuda has been amazing. He's been an incredible friend. Helping me through my separation with T, our ongoing divorce, and my pregnancy. He's been so good!

Well, he had a really tough day today. A bad one. He's not been having a nice weekend at all. I feel really bad. Especially since I can't physically be there to be supportive. But we talked on the phone.

Mondays are our days to have dinner together. For a while now, we've been meeting on Mondays evenings. We have dinner. And he helps me do things around my house. Or we just hangout. But I've been wanting to do something special for him. Because he always brings me dinner, or cooks for me. And he never asks me for anything.

At our Baby Shower, his mom let me know, Barracuda really likes chili. And I searched for a good recipe. Remember, I'm not a very good cook. But I found this recipe. And with some changes, I'm going to make a big pot tomorrow. And maybe I can figure out how to make some corn bread. You know the kind, the mix that you just add water to. :)

Ya, I want to do something to help lift Barracuda's spirits. He's been so amazing to me. And I just want to be able to give him support right now too. Wish me luck with my cooking! :) XOXO

Friday, September 24, 2010

39 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We're a week away from our due date. That excites me so much! I just can't wait to hold you. I dream about you every night. About being able to cuddle you. And just to love you.

Our week has been pretty normal and somewhat boring. We're finally sleeping a little more. Which is very nice. But I feel tired all the time. So I'm just trying to relax. Almost all week, we've been sneaking in little naps after dinner. :) I hope you're relaxing in there too!

W is getting excited too. I know he can tell we're about to have a major change. And he just loves sleeping under your crib. It's like he's practicing, for when you come home. We're all excited!

I LOVE feeling the relationship between you and W. He lays his head on my belly. And then I can feel you moving around in there. When he can, W will wiggle mommy's shirt up and put his wet nose on my belly, or lick my belly. That must really excite you. Because you will move around so much. You will kick and then W gets excited too! I just can't wait until you're big enough to play with W. He's going to be a great "Big Brother!"

I can also tell that you're getting ready to be born. I can feel you moving down. We've had some contractions on and off. I can feel you in a different place than before. Although it's a little uncomfortable, it still gets me excited! Because I know that soon, we will get to meet each other. And I'm so excited to just hold you in my arms!

Keep growing strong and healthy. W and I are so excited to meet you. But we are more than OK waiting for the day that you are ready to come. I LOVE you so much princess. I can't wait to meet you! Lots of hugs and kisses!

XOXO Your Mommy

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dreaming About Booties

All night last night, I dreamt about booties. And not the kind that you would expect. But these booties. For me to wear.

A few weeks ago, my bestie had on a pair. And I loved them! She looked really cute. And well, they look a lot easier to walk in than heels. I'm still not too good at walking in heels.

Then Trina tweeted about them, and I really wanted a pair. Um, ya. I'm way beyond preggers. And for my sake and my daughter's, I have refrained from buying a pair. But they are definitely going on my list. I'm buying them after my baby girl is born. Which pair? I don't know yet. I'm still searching online. :) XOXO

Monday, September 20, 2010

Pretty Necklaces

At 3:42 of this video...I LOVE the necklaces! They are just so pretty. And dainty. I don't have anything like these. And I really want one now. I just wish I could afford one. Well, maybe I can find one somewhere. Something that looks similar, but that is much more in my budget. Anyone seen anything like this? XOXO

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Halloween Costumes

So I'm quite miserable today. Not really feeling like doing much. But I have something fun to share with you. Last night, I realized something. Baby C will be here before Halloween! And I needed to buy some costumes! I'm almost positive we won't do anything. But I live in a "Family" neighborhood now. So I'm going to try and handout candy. There are so many kiddos around here. :)

But I thought it would be fun to dress up. Even if it's just for a picture or 2. So I went hunting for something cute! This is what I found...

I really like this little flower. It's $49! But I figured, it's going to be my little girl's 1st Halloween. Oh, and Barracuda ended up buying it. He thinks Baby C will look adorable. I might be a little biased here, but I think she will look beautiful! :)

I'm was thinking about this bee costume for me. $20 isn't bad. And it covers everything! You know, I'll only be a few weeks postpartum. No need to scare people. I figure I can wear some leggings and my black ballet flats. So cute!

So I know, people are going to think I'm nuts for buying Halloween costumes. Especially this flower one. But this is Baby C's 1st holiday. And I think it's important to start fun memories right away.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of fun times in my childhood. And I want it to be very different for my little one. It was kinda funny. Last night, I was looking at these costumes. And talking to Barracuda. He didn't hesitate. He just ordered them. It was really sweet of him too! Because he didn't have to. Now I'm anxious for Halloween to get here. XOXO

Friday, September 17, 2010

38 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

I'm so excited! You are officially considered full term. And the doctor told me that you are ready to be born. Well, when you are ready to come. But you know what your Mommy is trying to say.

Your Uncle Barracuda and I have been working hard to put all of your presents away. We got so many amazing gifts from our Our Baby Shower. It's almost been a week. And I'm still trying to find places for everything. We're so lucky, to be this loved!

This week, well I've been trying to just relax. I hope that's making things nice and comfy for you too. I know that I haven't been sleeping much. But it's been hard to get comfy. I'm sure you're feeling the same way. I think we're starting to run out of room. But we don't have long to wait. So I think we'll be OK.

This week has been so nice. Spending lots of time with all of our friends. They love you so much already. Everyone is so excited to meet you! But no one is more excited than me. I really can't wait. I look at your nursery everyday. And I can just imagine you sleeping in your crib. And later, playing on the fun rug. :)

I can feel you move so much now. Every time you move, it's such an incredible feeling. And I look forward to all of your movements. It makes me smile so big! We've been reading more than usual too. And I think you really enjoy that. I'm glad.

Today, just seeing your gorgeous face made my day! You look so beautiful. And you were moving so much! Our doctor joked that you were having a party in your Mommy's belly. It sure did look like you were dancing around!

Well Little Girl, I can't wait to meet you! Your Mommy already LOVES you so much! I hope you know that. I'll always love and adore you. Baby Girl, you are my sunshine and my world! Stay strong and healthy. I'm counting down the days until I get to meet you!

XOXO Your Mommy

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Baby Showers in Review

This past weekend, Baby C and I had our Baby Showers. Yes, we had 2! I still can't believe it!

My bestie and some friends had planned our Baby Shower for Saturday. I knew about it. And I was so excited! Not about getting presents. I had already bought, pretty much everything that Baby C needs. But I was so excited to see all of my friends. Especially my bestie! It seems like it's been forever since I've seen my friends. Living out here, I don't get to see them often. And that's tough.

I got to spend Friday with my bestie. And that was just incredible! We went to my doctor's appointment, out to lunch, and just hung out. We did some shopping. And I really enjoyed all of it! We even managed a mani-pedi too. :)

My bestie ended up making dinner for us that night. Because I fell asleep late in the afternoon. Barracuda and her Guy were working. And we were all meeting up later that night. The 2 of us really did enjoy ourselves.

I spent the weekend at my bestie and her Guy's house. That's where the Baby Shower was going to be. And Saturday morning, the house was buzzing! The guys left early in the morning. They had a way to go for work. And there were so many people helping to get ready for our Baby Shower!

I was really excited to share this with C too! She made the trip out here just for the Baby Shower. And it was nice to spend time with her. C and W were our only family that came. But it was such a blessing to have them here. Yes, I consider my dog family! C is so excited to meet her new niece too!

I honestly just enjoyed being around all of my friends. It was like a reunion of the "Wives Club." :) Yes, all of our husbands work together. And we all travel together. It was just nice to be with them again. We sat around laughing and talking. I got to change some diapers. Yes, some of my friends have newborns! :)

The pile of gifts was HUGE! I was feeling a bit intimidated. So many amazing things. I really do feel blessed. There were lots of beautiful presents. So many clothes! Baby C might not even get to wear everything! She could possibly wear a new outfit everyday!

But the most special gifts were handmade. My bestie and her mom made some of the most beautiful things. I wish I could find my camera. I took pictures of everything. I mean, these are gorgeous blankets, sweater sets, booties, everything! I even got my tutu for Baby C! :)

On Sunday, the guys were back. They actually got back late, late Saturday night. And my bestie and all the guys planned a "Surprise BBQ" for us! Yes, all the people I used to work with, were able to come on Sunday. It was another Baby Shower! I really have missed all of these people. It feels amazing to be part of their lives again. I'm so lucky and blessed, to have such amazing friends. :)

Sunday was really about just being with friends. We also got another mountain of gifts. And now that I'm thinking about it, I need to start writing out Thank yous. But it's so amazing to just spend time with my friends. I've missed them so much! And they love my Baby Girl so much!!!

After everyone had left, and all had calmed down, my bestie and her guy surprised me again! They put together an entire nursery in their home! For my Baby Girl! :) They're going to be Baby C's Godparents. And they are planning to steal away, my Little Girl, from time to time. Everything that a baby could possibly need, is in that nursery. It's beautiful! I can tell, they love Baby C as much as I do.

As you can tell, we are so lucky and loved! Life has not been too kind to Baby C and I. But God has sent us some amazing people. People that love us. And want to take care of us. We are truly blessed. I just wish I could find my camera. We took some amazing pictures! And I want to say a special and HUGE Thank you to my bestie! You are the best friend anyone could ever have! :) XOXO

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fried Tuna Stuffed Jumbo Pasta Shells

Gosh these look yummy! If I didn't have such a big belly, I'd try them. But I fear, I might burn my baby belly. And that wouldn't be good. I should have probably mastered cooking before getting pregnant. Well, what are you gonna do? What's done is done. Maybe Barracuda and I could attempt these. And he can deal with the frying. :) XOXO

Monday, September 13, 2010

Smells Like Honey :)

My bestie didn't just shower my little girl with presents this weekend, she bought me some stuff too! Some really amazing things. This "Honey Farm" set was one of my favorites. I tried it out this morning. And it was wonderful! Definitely what I needed after a long weekend. :)

I tried the "Honey I Washed the Kids" soap. It was amazing! And the "Flying Fox" shower gel. It smells so amazing! But then again, I'm a HUGE fan of honey. It just smells so amazing! After using this, my skin feels so amazing and soft. And there is definitely a hint of honey left on my skin. I just love the way it smells!

I'm going to save the "Honey Bee" bath bomb and "Ma Bar" bubble bar for later. I think they'd be great in a bath closer to my due date. You know, when I really need a good soak. Or even after my little girl is born.

I tell you, I have the best bestie in the entire world. Her guy and Barracuda are amazing too! Not only did we have a Baby Shower on Saturday. But the guys also surprised me with a Baby Shower/BBQ yesterday. Lots of fun. But more on both later this week. :) XOXO

Friday, September 10, 2010

37 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

It was so great to see you today! Your Godmother came with us to our appointment. And it was so much fun! It was so amazing to watch you in there. You little mouth was open. We got pictures of what looks like you waving at us too!

Then we all went out to lunch. And we did a little bit of shopping. :) Your mommy and Godmother just couldn't resist! It was great to feel you moving around so much too! My bestie just loved feeling you kick. And little girl, you've been very active today!

But it was also nice to get all these questions answered by our doctor and my bestie. Who would have known that I've been having contractions all week. And I didn't know it. I didn't know why my belly was getting so hard. Turns out, we were having a contraction. Nothing major. And it's pretty normal.

You've also dropped. And as our doctor put it, you're getting "ready." It makes breathing a lot easier. But walking is becoming hard. I'm waddling a whole lot more! But it's OK. Because we're getting ready to meet.

Now we're at home. My bestie is doing some finishing touches to your nursery. And I'm trying to rest. Later, we're heading to your Godparents' house. And we're also going to church tonight. It's a big night. This entire weekend is a big weekend! I hope you're ready for it. I know I am!

Love you lots little girl. And I can't wait to see all of our friends this weekend. It should be lots of fun. And I know everyone is excited to see you in my belly. Until then, we're going to enjoy lots of time with my bestie. Maybe we should take a little nap too! And your job, is to get big and strong.

XOXO Your Mommy

Thursday, September 9, 2010

2 Days!

In 2 days, Baby C and I are having our Baby Shower! I'm so excited. Not for all the presents. But to see my friends. I haven't seen my bestie in what seems like forever. Um, the 2-3 hour drive, plus her schedule, and her guy's, well it doesn't make for a good combo. And we don't get to see each other a lot.

I also don't see a lot of my friends either. I didn't realize that the move out here would be this tough. But I understand. All of their husbands work hard. As they do too. And there is so much traveling involved in this profession. It's OK.

But in 2 days, I get to see all of them! Some of my friends have had babies this summer, and I'm so excited to get to see them too! Maybe I'll get to have a little "practice" with the babies. I want to try my hand at more diaper changes and such.

Just 2 days. It seems like so far away! But also just around the corner. I'm so anxious! I really can't wait to hangout with my bestie and her and her guy's house. I'm going to be staying over for the weekend. And another bonus, I get Monday off of work too! XOXO

Monday, September 6, 2010

So Cute!

I really like watching Shandel. Her videos are adorable. Both her vlogs and makeup videos. But this video definitely caught my attention. Look at how cute the crib bedding is! I would have never thought about black and white for a baby. Oh ya, she's having a girl too!

But seriously, this is a cute set! I already picked out my little one's bedding. We're lucky. We actually got 2 sets. I bought one. And the other was a gift. Nothing like this. But still cute. I'm just in love with all things nursery recently. :) XOXO

Saturday, September 4, 2010

MAC Eyeshadows

I really like to watch these types of videos. And these colors that Shandel talked about, are beautiful! I need to add these to my list. I really like these colors. And because I'm still makeup challenged, I like to take advice from makeup lovers. And women like Shandel. Her makeup always looks amazing! Do you have any favorites to add? XOXO

Friday, September 3, 2010

36 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Can you believe it? We have 4 weeks until our due date! And just over a week until our Baby Shower. I'm so excited about both of those things. For completely different reasons. But you know, I love you so much.

In 4 weeks, it's our due date. The day that you are supposed to be "fully cooked." Um, I say, however long it takes little girl, you take. If it's 3 weeks or 5 weeks! Yes, I learned today, that I could be pregnant for 42 weeks. Because you're my very first baby. So things might take a little longer. I guess we just have to wait and see. But whatever you do, stay in there and get big and healthy. And when you're ready, so am I!

Then, I've been thinking about our Baby Shower. Not for the reasons you might think. Nope. Because we have everything that you could possibly need. I've been doing a pretty good job of shopping. But I'm excited to see all of our friends. It's been tough living so far from everyone. And I don't get to see people that often. Not even your Godmother. That makes me a little sad. But I understand that we're all so busy!

So next week, we're going to go spend the weekend with your Godparents. I know your Godfather has to work. But he'll be coming back and forth. I'm really anxious to see everyone! And I know everyone is very anxious to see us! Because I keep getting great emails from everyone.

Now, I'm going to go relax. And maybe we'll have a snack. It's been so wonderful this week. Just know that in less than a month, we're going to meet each other! Little girl, you stay safe, and grow strong. W and I are so anxious for you to come!

XOXO Your Mommy

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

1 Month!!!

1 month from today is my due date. I'm so excited! I know. Only 4% of women have their babies on their due date. But I'm still so excited! In about a month, I finally get to meet my little girl. I've never been so excited! It's really all I could think about today. And my Baby Girl has been moving around so much. Maybe she is just as excited as I am. I hope she's cooking good inside. Because I'm anxious to meet her! XOXO