Today is the Day

Dear Baby Girl,

I just have a feeling, that today is the day. The day that we get to meet. And I get to hold you for the very first time. That makes me so excited!

The last few months, they've been magical. Feeling you inside of me. Kicking around. Loving me. And I hope you know how much I love you. I'd do anything for you baby girl. I mean anything!

It's crazy. When I found out about you, I was scared. So scared. I wasn't sure I could do this. I didn't know if I'd be a good Mommy. But I've tried really hard. I've taken so many classes. And tried to make all the right decisions. Now all I can do is wait for you.

I love you so much! There are so many people that love you little girl! Your Uncle Barracuda thinks you're the entire world. The reason that the sun rises and sets. Really he does. He wants to be everything that your Daddy isn't. He wants to love and protect you. It's crazy how this week, today, he has to be across the country working. But he's trying to get home as quickly as he can!

And your Godparents. They love you so much. There is not a thing in the world, that they wouldn't do for us. I know this. My bestie, we've been through a lot. Our lives have been crazy. But through it all, we've had each other. And I know, she would do anything for you. She's going to be your Godmother. And I know that she is going to be amazing at loving you! Your Godfather, he's so excited to meet you too! It's so incredible to watch them both, when we get to see you. They love you so much! It's hard that everyone is away right now. But they love you! And they're trying to get hom before you are born.

If this is your birth date, you were born on an incredible day. 10-10-10. It's also your Godfather's birthday. I know that would send him over the moon, to have you born on his birthday! I just have this feeling, a good feeling, that you're coming today. I pray that our labor and delivery is safe. And that you are born healthy. Your Mommy and W love you so much! We can't wait to bring you home. To our home, to your nursery, to start our lives together.

XOXO Your Mommy and W, Your Favorite Dog. :)

Happy Birthday Guy!

A very special birthday going out to The Guy. Who happens to be one of my favorite people in the whole world! And he will also be Baby C's Godfather. Today is his birthday. Yes, on this very special day, 10-10-10. How cool is that?

And when I asked him, what he wanted for his birthday, what did he say? A cake? A new hunting thing? A car? No. He wanted Baby C to be born today. And for her to be healthy! How cool is that? Well, Guy, you might just get your wish. I'm pretty sure that Baby C is coming. Maybe be midnight!

Have a Happy Birthday! Enjoy the day. Enjoy it with my bestie. Don't worry about racing home tonight. You guys will get here, when you get here. Enjoy yourselves. What amazing friends you both are. But Guy, you've been incredible to me. One of the only people I could rely on. And you love me and my little girl so much. We can't forget how happy you make my bestie! Thank you! For all of those things, I hope all of your dreams come true! XOXO

Polyvore

My contractions are all over the place! Crazy hard and strong for about 90 minutes, then nothing. I didn't sleep much last night. But, I took advantage today. And I took a really long nap! I can tell, we're getting close. :)

But while I've been wasting some time here, just trying to get Baby C ready, I found Polyvore. And I signed up. Here's my page. Yes, I played for a few hours. So much fun! I wish I would have signed up a long time ago!

This could be a really fun thing to play with. You know, when I start losing weight. I'm not good at putting outfits together. But I think this could help. If not, it's just fun to play around. It's like paper dolls for grown ups! XOXO

41 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We are 1 week "late." I'm not stressed. Neither is our doctor. But I am anxious! I can't wait to meet you. I know. For 41 weeks, you've been inside me, growing. But I want to hold you. I want to look into your eyes. To kiss your cheeks. And I want to just be your Mommy.

Today, our doctor scrapped my membranes. It hurt. But it was worth it. I've felt a few contractions since. And this is supposed to start things moving. You know, in the right direction. That means we could meet sometime this weekend! Now that makes me excited!

Everything is ready for you. Your nursery. Our home. W. Your Mommy. Your Nana and
Nono. Your Uncle Barracuda. We're all ready! We're just waiting for you to come. Your Nono wants to know if you can come on Sunday. A cool date! But that is all up to you!

The only thing that I want, is for you and me to be safe and healthy. We have years and years to be together. But for right now, I want you to be healthy. And safe. So if you have to "cook" for another week, I'm OK with it. Just take as much time as you need!

XOXO Your Mommy

Oh My!

I'm closer to having Baby C. But not really "ready" yet. At least that is what my doctor told me. I had another "Non Stress Test" yesterday. And both Baby C and I are doing good. We're just not ready for the "Birthing Process" yet.

So my doctor gave me a list of things to do. All of which, I've been doing. You know, exercise, spicy food, relaxing. But nothing is helping. I've also tried more "natural" things. Like different herbs and teas.

The only thing I haven't tried is sex. Because I'm in the middle of a divorce. I'm pretty sure that T hates me. So that would just be stupid. And well, who else is there? I'm almost 41 weeks pregnant. Not much of a catch...

Anyway, I watched this video today on YouTube. I think I might have scared myself. So much so, that I'm OK if my daughter decides to wait until 42 weeks to make her arrival. Do they seriously have to cut you? I hope not!

I know. I went to classes. They showed us videos. But I guess it didn't feel "real" yet. Because I wasn't days away from giving birth. But you know what? Whatever it takes to have a healthy Baby C, I'm more than willing to do. I just want my little girl to be healthy. XOXO

I Wish

I wish that I was really crafty. That I could sit and make Baby C a bunch of hair bows. But I'm not crafty. Not at all!

I want some of these really colorful ones.

And some big ones to put on a headband. These are the cutest!

These ones are really adorable too! I like how the flowers are so big!

So because I'm not crafty, and believe me, I've tried to be! I'm going to be ordering some more of these for my little girl. I'm sure Baby C is going to look so cute wearing them! Let's hope that I don't break the bank. Because I want to buy 1 of every color. :) XOXO

King of Queens

Now that I'm officially past my due date, I've been trying to keep myself busy doing other things. Like long walks during my lunch and after work. Yes, I walk until it gets dark. Then I come home and eat dinner. And sit and wonder. Wondering when my little girl is going to get here.

So I was flipping through the TV, I saw, the King of Queens. I LOVED this show! So I sat and watched...um 3 episodes. It was great. I laughed so hard. And I'm pretty sure that Baby C loved it too!

Any suggestions on how to go into labor? Just wondering what your thoughts are on the subject. XOXO

40 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Today is our due date. And you're just not ready to come yet. I'm OK with that. Our doctor said neither of us is ready. We might have another 2 weeks to go. But I hope that I don't have to wait that long.

We had a crazy week. I'm sorry that I get so upset when we're around your Daddy. I never wanted things to be this way. But you know what, I've learned that I can't control these things. I hope your Daddy wakes up. And decided to come see you being born. I think that is something very special. Something that would start to build your relationship together. But I'm not in charge of that.

And your Uncle Barracuda has definitely been picking up the pieces for us. He's been great. Part of me wants to let him really love and take care of us. But I want to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt. So we are just going to have to wait this out. I know he loves us. But I'm not sure if I'm ready for that kind of "Romantic Love" again.

All week, I've been going into your nursery. Sitting in my chair and looking at your crib. I can't wait until you are sleeping in there. I want to sit and read to you. To hold you. And to love you. Baby Girl, I just can't wait to meet you! I'm ready when you are!

XOXO Your Mommy

Can't Wait!

I saw this picture this morning. And it just made me smile. I can't wait to hold my Baby Girl! We're 1 day away from our due date. I don't feel anywhere near having my Baby Girl. But I guess you just never know these things. Hopefully I'll get a better idea, of when I get to meet Baby C tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment. I'm hoping that I've made some progress. Because I seriously can't wait to meet my little girl. :) XOXO

He Makes Me Sad

I watched this video just now, and it made me cry. Why? Because look at how happy Chloe and Chris are. What an amazing dad. Chloe looks so happy!

Today, T and I had another Court Date. He insisted on it. My lawyer called me on Monday to let me know. Yes, at 39 weeks, and 2 days, I went to court. He flat out told the judge, he didn't want to be Baby C's father. Whether DNA can prove it or not.

The judge has left it up to me. If I decide to put T's name on Baby C's birth certificate, he is her father. Then I'll have the option to petition for Child Support and such. Or I can allow T to sign over all Parental Rights. If I do that, his name won't go on Baby C's birth certificate. I can't ever ask for anything from him. Which is more than OK with me. It honestly is. But the judge will not hear any of my decisions unit after Baby C is born.

Here I am, 2 days from my due date. We should be so happy! T and I should be sitting in our home, planning on our Baby Girl's birth. Just thinking about the rest of our lives. Instead, we're in Court. Fighting about whether or not T is going to be held responsible, in the eyes of the Court, as Baby C's father.

It makes me really sad. Because T and I always talked about, what it was like growing up in a "Broken Home." And how we wanted to be married forever. To give our kids a better life. Now look at us. We can't even figure out which way is up.

I wanted so badly to work this out between T and I. And when I realized that there was nothing left to fight for, I at least wanted our baby to have a good relationship with T. But T wants nothing of it. I should be grateful that he decided this before Baby C's birth. Before she grows dependent on her dad.

But it still hurts. It hurts that he left me. Left me for not only 1 other woman, but 2. Who knows, there are probably more. And that he lied to me. Lied about his Baby Girl, M. Both of these innocent babies, deserve a better father.

More than anything, it hurts me that my Baby Girl will never have a relationship with her daddy. She will never have the chance to know the loving side of him. The side that loves, comforts, and protects. It pains me that there will never be love shared between the 2 of them. But that is T's decision. Not mine. And one day, he'll have to explain that to our daughter. XOXO

Oh Grapes!

Yum! Dinner last night, it was yummy. Yes, I somehow figured out how to cook everything. And with a little bit of help from Barracuda, we managed a yummy dinner! And dessert. :)

But since last week, I haven't been eating much. I just don't feel like eating. I'm not hungry. I try to eat. I really do. But Baby C is running out of room in my belly. And it really doesn't make for much of an appetite. But I'm trying to eat often. Even if it's small bits of food.

Grapes have become my go to. I crave them. I've been craving them for weeks. And they're yummy! In the past week, I can honestly say, I've eaten at least 6 bags. Is that crazy? XOXO

Planning Something Nice

My friend Barracuda has been amazing. He's been an incredible friend. Helping me through my separation with T, our ongoing divorce, and my pregnancy. He's been so good!

Well, he had a really tough day today. A bad one. He's not been having a nice weekend at all. I feel really bad. Especially since I can't physically be there to be supportive. But we talked on the phone.

Mondays are our days to have dinner together. For a while now, we've been meeting on Mondays evenings. We have dinner. And he helps me do things around my house. Or we just hangout. But I've been wanting to do something special for him. Because he always brings me dinner, or cooks for me. And he never asks me for anything.

At our Baby Shower, his mom let me know, Barracuda really likes chili. And I searched for a good recipe. Remember, I'm not a very good cook. But I found this recipe. And with some changes, I'm going to make a big pot tomorrow. And maybe I can figure out how to make some corn bread. You know the kind, the mix that you just add water to. :)

Ya, I want to do something to help lift Barracuda's spirits. He's been so amazing to me. And I just want to be able to give him support right now too. Wish me luck with my cooking! :) XOXO

39 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

We're a week away from our due date. That excites me so much! I just can't wait to hold you. I dream about you every night. About being able to cuddle you. And just to love you.

Our week has been pretty normal and somewhat boring. We're finally sleeping a little more. Which is very nice. But I feel tired all the time. So I'm just trying to relax. Almost all week, we've been sneaking in little naps after dinner. :) I hope you're relaxing in there too!

W is getting excited too. I know he can tell we're about to have a major change. And he just loves sleeping under your crib. It's like he's practicing, for when you come home. We're all excited!

I LOVE feeling the relationship between you and W. He lays his head on my belly. And then I can feel you moving around in there. When he can, W will wiggle mommy's shirt up and put his wet nose on my belly, or lick my belly. That must really excite you. Because you will move around so much. You will kick and then W gets excited too! I just can't wait until you're big enough to play with W. He's going to be a great "Big Brother!"

I can also tell that you're getting ready to be born. I can feel you moving down. We've had some contractions on and off. I can feel you in a different place than before. Although it's a little uncomfortable, it still gets me excited! Because I know that soon, we will get to meet each other. And I'm so excited to just hold you in my arms!

Keep growing strong and healthy. W and I are so excited to meet you. But we are more than OK waiting for the day that you are ready to come. I LOVE you so much princess. I can't wait to meet you! Lots of hugs and kisses!

XOXO Your Mommy

Dreaming About Booties

All night last night, I dreamt about booties. And not the kind that you would expect. But these booties. For me to wear.

A few weeks ago, my bestie had on a pair. And I loved them! She looked really cute. And well, they look a lot easier to walk in than heels. I'm still not too good at walking in heels.

Then Trina tweeted about them, and I really wanted a pair. Um, ya. I'm way beyond preggers. And for my sake and my daughter's, I have refrained from buying a pair. But they are definitely going on my list. I'm buying them after my baby girl is born. Which pair? I don't know yet. I'm still searching online. :) XOXO

Pretty Necklaces

At 3:42 of this video...I LOVE the necklaces! They are just so pretty. And dainty. I don't have anything like these. And I really want one now. I just wish I could afford one. Well, maybe I can find one somewhere. Something that looks similar, but that is much more in my budget. Anyone seen anything like this? XOXO

Halloween Costumes

So I'm quite miserable today. Not really feeling like doing much. But I have something fun to share with you. Last night, I realized something. Baby C will be here before Halloween! And I needed to buy some costumes! I'm almost positive we won't do anything. But I live in a "Family" neighborhood now. So I'm going to try and handout candy. There are so many kiddos around here. :)

But I thought it would be fun to dress up. Even if it's just for a picture or 2. So I went hunting for something cute! This is what I found...



I really like this little flower. It's $49! But I figured, it's going to be my little girl's 1st Halloween. Oh, and Barracuda ended up buying it. He thinks Baby C will look adorable. I might be a little biased here, but I think she will look beautiful! :)



I'm was thinking about this bee costume for me. $20 isn't bad. And it covers everything! You know, I'll only be a few weeks postpartum. No need to scare people. I figure I can wear some leggings and my black ballet flats. So cute!

So I know, people are going to think I'm nuts for buying Halloween costumes. Especially this flower one. But this is Baby C's 1st holiday. And I think it's important to start fun memories right away.

Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of fun times in my childhood. And I want it to be very different for my little one. It was kinda funny. Last night, I was looking at these costumes. And talking to Barracuda. He didn't hesitate. He just ordered them. It was really sweet of him too! Because he didn't have to. Now I'm anxious for Halloween to get here. XOXO

38 Weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

I'm so excited! You are officially considered full term. And the doctor told me that you are ready to be born. Well, when you are ready to come. But you know what your Mommy is trying to say.

Your Uncle Barracuda and I have been working hard to put all of your presents away. We got so many amazing gifts from our Our Baby Shower. It's almost been a week. And I'm still trying to find places for everything. We're so lucky, to be this loved!

This week, well I've been trying to just relax. I hope that's making things nice and comfy for you too. I know that I haven't been sleeping much. But it's been hard to get comfy. I'm sure you're feeling the same way. I think we're starting to run out of room. But we don't have long to wait. So I think we'll be OK.

This week has been so nice. Spending lots of time with all of our friends. They love you so much already. Everyone is so excited to meet you! But no one is more excited than me. I really can't wait. I look at your nursery everyday. And I can just imagine you sleeping in your crib. And later, playing on the fun rug. :)

I can feel you move so much now. Every time you move, it's such an incredible feeling. And I look forward to all of your movements. It makes me smile so big! We've been reading more than usual too. And I think you really enjoy that. I'm glad.

Today, just seeing your gorgeous face made my day! You look so beautiful. And you were moving so much! Our doctor joked that you were having a party in your Mommy's belly. It sure did look like you were dancing around!

Well Little Girl, I can't wait to meet you! Your Mommy already LOVES you so much! I hope you know that. I'll always love and adore you. Baby Girl, you are my sunshine and my world! Stay strong and healthy. I'm counting down the days until I get to meet you!

XOXO Your Mommy

Baby Showers in Review

This past weekend, Baby C and I had our Baby Showers. Yes, we had 2! I still can't believe it!

My bestie and some friends had planned our Baby Shower for Saturday. I knew about it. And I was so excited! Not about getting presents. I had already bought, pretty much everything that Baby C needs. But I was so excited to see all of my friends. Especially my bestie! It seems like it's been forever since I've seen my friends. Living out here, I don't get to see them often. And that's tough.

I got to spend Friday with my bestie. And that was just incredible! We went to my doctor's appointment, out to lunch, and just hung out. We did some shopping. And I really enjoyed all of it! We even managed a mani-pedi too. :)

My bestie ended up making dinner for us that night. Because I fell asleep late in the afternoon. Barracuda and her Guy were working. And we were all meeting up later that night. The 2 of us really did enjoy ourselves.

I spent the weekend at my bestie and her Guy's house. That's where the Baby Shower was going to be. And Saturday morning, the house was buzzing! The guys left early in the morning. They had a way to go for work. And there were so many people helping to get ready for our Baby Shower!

I was really excited to share this with C too! She made the trip out here just for the Baby Shower. And it was nice to spend time with her. C and W were our only family that came. But it was such a blessing to have them here. Yes, I consider my dog family! C is so excited to meet her new niece too!

I honestly just enjoyed being around all of my friends. It was like a reunion of the "Wives Club." :) Yes, all of our husbands work together. And we all travel together. It was just nice to be with them again. We sat around laughing and talking. I got to change some diapers. Yes, some of my friends have newborns! :)

The pile of gifts was HUGE! I was feeling a bit intimidated. So many amazing things. I really do feel blessed. There were lots of beautiful presents. So many clothes! Baby C might not even get to wear everything! She could possibly wear a new outfit everyday!

But the most special gifts were handmade. My bestie and her mom made some of the most beautiful things. I wish I could find my camera. I took pictures of everything. I mean, these are gorgeous blankets, sweater sets, booties, everything! I even got my tutu for Baby C! :)

On Sunday, the guys were back. They actually got back late, late Saturday night. And my bestie and all the guys planned a "Surprise BBQ" for us! Yes, all the people I used to work with, were able to come on Sunday. It was another Baby Shower! I really have missed all of these people. It feels amazing to be part of their lives again. I'm so lucky and blessed, to have such amazing friends. :)

Sunday was really about just being with friends. We also got another mountain of gifts. And now that I'm thinking about it, I need to start writing out Thank yous. But it's so amazing to just spend time with my friends. I've missed them so much! And they love my Baby Girl so much!!!

After everyone had left, and all had calmed down, my bestie and her guy surprised me again! They put together an entire nursery in their home! For my Baby Girl! :) They're going to be Baby C's Godparents. And they are planning to steal away, my Little Girl, from time to time. Everything that a baby could possibly need, is in that nursery. It's beautiful! I can tell, they love Baby C as much as I do.

As you can tell, we are so lucky and loved! Life has not been too kind to Baby C and I. But God has sent us some amazing people. People that love us. And want to take care of us. We are truly blessed. I just wish I could find my camera. We took some amazing pictures! And I want to say a special and HUGE Thank you to my bestie! You are the best friend anyone could ever have! :) XOXO

Fried Tuna Stuffed Jumbo Pasta Shells

Gosh these look yummy! If I didn't have such a big belly, I'd try them. But I fear, I might burn my baby belly. And that wouldn't be good. I should have probably mastered cooking before getting pregnant. Well, what are you gonna do? What's done is done. Maybe Barracuda and I could attempt these. And he can deal with the frying. :) XOXO

Smells Like Honey :)

My bestie didn't just shower my little girl with presents this weekend, she bought me some stuff too! Some really amazing things. This "Honey Farm" set was one of my favorites. I tried it out this morning. And it was wonderful! Definitely what I needed after a long weekend. :)

I tried the "Honey I Washed the Kids" soap. It was amazing! And the "Flying Fox" shower gel. It smells so amazing! But then again, I'm a HUGE fan of honey. It just smells so amazing! After using this, my skin feels so amazing and soft. And there is definitely a hint of honey left on my skin. I just love the way it smells!

I'm going to save the "Honey Bee" bath bomb and "Ma Bar" bubble bar for later. I think they'd be great in a bath closer to my due date. You know, when I really need a good soak. Or even after my little girl is born.

I tell you, I have the best bestie in the entire world. Her guy and Barracuda are amazing too! Not only did we have a Baby Shower on Saturday. But the guys also surprised me with a Baby Shower/BBQ yesterday. Lots of fun. But more on both later this week. :) XOXO